by Tim Nekritz | nekritz@gmail.com
Picture this: It’s a snowy Sunday morning and you and your kids just want to relax after a long week of work and school.
What are the odds that they are watching a screen, whether a cellphone, game system, TV, computer or something else?
If you’re a typical parent, the odds are pretty good that, by the end of the day, they will log hours in front of a screen.
Yes, hours. Several. And that’s not necessarily a good thing.
Teens and kids aged 8 to 18 have an average of 7.5 hours per day watching or using screens, according to a June 2025 report by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. They include “smartphones, tablets, gaming consoles, TVs and computers” in that figure.
It’s a topic that continues receiving a lot of study, including by local educator, counselor and writer Jodi Mullen.
Mullen is the author of “Freakishly Well-Behaved Kids: 20 Principles for Becoming the Parent Your Child Needs,” a SUNY Oswego counseling and psychological services professor, founder and CEO of Integrative Counseling Services in Oswego, a play therapy trainer and a proud mom. With more than 30 years of counseling experience, she has seen a lot of things, including the rise of screen time and related problems that the explosion of devices has caused.
“The recommendations of French psychiatrist Serge Tisseron, the 3-6-9-12 screen time rule, resonates with me as a licensed mental health counselor who works with youth,” Mullen explained. “It incorporates some flexibility about the amount of time and focuses on supervision and preparedness. I am also influenced by the work of Johnthan Haidt, author of ‘Anxious Generation.’ I encourage parents to avoid screen time for children 3 years and younger, without exception.”
The 3-6-9-12 rule’s basic recommendations include no screens of any kind before children reach age 3, no personal game consoles before they turn 6, no accompanied internet before age 9 and no internet time alone before reaching 12.
If you feel like you’ve already failed on this suggestion, well, I’m right there with you. To be fair, kids like mine receive internet-research-related homework well before age 12 and often even learn research methods (and hopefully information literacy) right in their classes.
What’s the harm?
The reasons for guidelines are rooted in science and observation, Mullen noted.
“There are several concerns that are based in neurobiology and what is and is not happening in the brain,” Mullen said. “More screen time also means children have more access to content that they may not be prepared to engage with (and you might not even be aware of).”
All this time spent passively consuming takes away from the creativity and inventiveness previous generations used to fill their time growing up.
Moreover, access to the internet, chat and social media can lead to trouble, she said.
“On the flip side, more screen time also means others have more access to children,” Mullen said. “I work directly with children and youth (and provide consultation to counselors across the world who are counseling children) who have been exploited, including sexually exploited by adults and older children who they were connected to through screen time including gaming mediums and social media.”
But it’s important to remember, Mullen said, that one of the most powerful ways to combat screen time is by serving as a role model.
“Model it,” Mullen suggested. “A huge challenge for us as parents is to put our own devices down regardless of why we are using them (checking emails, playing games, reading).”
Setting time and place limits for everybody — adults and kids — is a key recommendation.
“A place to start is with no electronics times; in our house, we had a no-electronics-at-the-table rule,” Mullen said. “It’s difficult for parents to compete with the alluring content on screens, so getting creative is the key and when it’s bitterly cold and snowy outside, those outdoor options are limited at best.”
Finding solutions
Susan Cole, a mother of two from Fulton, uses technology in the solution.
“I set limits on certain apps and set ‘downtime’ each night so that my daughter can’t use her phone after bedtime for anything other than playing music,” Cole said.
Since all kids have interests away from screens, that’s where you can start to show them the world beyond their devices.
“Being attuned to your child will help you develop ideas,” Mullen said. “What do they talk about, what makes them excited, what are they interested in? Let your child be in the lead (within developmental limits and reason); maybe they want to try a new recipe or even make a whole meal. What supports and supplies would they need? What about making music without instruments with items in the house? Putting on a show or a play?”
Since the challenge is one most parents have and seek out their own solutions, they are often happy to share.
“Talking to other parents can be a source of inspiration too,” Mullen said. “The most important component is that parents are engaged and facilitate while knowing when to let children take the lead.”
Samantha Crego, another local mother of two, recommended SkyZone trampoline park in Syracuse, as well as other outings, such as going to a cottage for the weekend, where “we did family games, they played out in the snow and did s’mores over the fire,” Crego said. “Sometimes we do little cook-off competitions, brother vs. sister, ice skating, bowling” and more.
Jody Frawley, a mother as well as a grandmother to a toddler, recommends the stimulation of introducing new things at a young age.
Frawley recently taught her 3-year-old grandson, Beckham, how to play Yahtzee.
“He made it through one round and then made up his own game with it! Still better than screens!” she said.
“We play piano, relay race around the house, race cars on the kitchen table, go sledding and hiking, read books — yesterday I read him a book in French that my ‘French family’ sent me from France,” Frawley added. “He loved it!”
Mullen has an example from her family during the especially challenging days of COVID-19 isolation, where her family split into two teams of two for an activity that proved fruitful.
“Each team would pick several food staples out of the pantry that the other team had to use in creation of something edible (we were inspired by a show on the Food Network) and we all had to try it,” Mullen recalled. “Screen time was allowed to do research, but was limited to 30 minutes. We shared some yummy food, creativity, cooperation and a lot of laughs.”
Local outings
Plenty of examples exist, perhaps not too far away from you, to get out and about and stimulate creativity, whatever the season.
The Children’s Museum of Oswego is a low-cost option in the Port City, but you also have the Museum of Science and Technology in Syracuse (MOST). On days when the weather cooperates, the Rosamond Gifford Zoo in Syracuse and The Wild Animal Park in Chittenango are worth the trip.
When the winter weather is bearable, any number of facilities offer nature hikes — including but not limited to Rice Creek Field Station, Sterling Nature Center and Beaver Lake — and Oswego County is home to plenty of natural beauty for families to enjoy almost anywhere you look.
Don’t forget your local library. These tend to have free programs for all ages and a library adventure can show them the importance of reading as a positive and fun habit.
Whether or not your kid plays sports or an instrument, chances are their school hosts games and concerts worth checking out, whether they are participating or just cheering on friends and classmates.
But parenting in the age of screens and super busy schedules is not easy. For those of us with jobs that sometimes intrude on the weekend or just want a little serenity, an electronic babysitter can be an easy-seeming solution. I’m not necessarily thrilled with how much comedy content my teenager scrolls through on TikTok or the time spent gaming on his phone, but we discuss what he’s doing frequently.
More often than not, he voluntarily shows me something funny or describes some interesting mechanic in the game he’s playing. Parenting can involve give and take and not always easy decisions but ultimately connecting and communicating remain important pillars through it all. Reinforcing that you want to be involved in your child’s life, especially when they still look up to you, is still powerful.
And as parents, Mullen reminds us, despite the allure of flashy technology, the example starts with us.
“I cannot stress enough that your children are watching you,” Mullen said. “Showing screen time restraint and being clear about your engagement will help them discern their own use. Ultimately, you have to be able to help your child step away from the screen and certain content.”
Tim Nekritz is director of communications at SUNY Oswego, where he spearheads telling the stories of the campus community.
